[Esip-sustainabledm] [External Email] Please review pages 8-10 of the CARE paper draft

[Ruth Duerr]

Hi Erin,

Yes, this was very definitely a first draft so I am totally not surprised about the voicing.  However, if you’d like to suggest changes (so track changes on or whatever Google calls it) please do so.

Since both you and Lourdes seem to think this is OK, I am going to head on!  Wish me luck!

Ruth

> On Jul 11, 2023, at 8:23 AM, Antognoli, Erin - REE-ARS <erin.antognoli at usda.gov> wrote:
> 
> Ruth,
>  
> I like this structure so far. It breaks up the content into bite size chunks to highlight the steps repos can take more clearly. It will still get long, but that’s probably unavoidable with a topic like this.
>  
> I made a comment about language being clearer and sticking to one tense or the other but wasn’t sure if we were at that point yet so didn’t make any more suggestions. I see several places where we could reword to switch to active voice to make the statements more direct and action oriented. This will probably also shorten some of the content slightly. Let me know if you want me to go over this to make those changes and whether I should use track changes or not.
>  
> Erin Antognoli, MLIS <https://ischool.umd.edu/academics/masters-programs/master-of-library-and-information-science/> 
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> Data Curation Team Lead & Metadata Librarian 
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> From: Esip-sustainabledm <esip-sustainabledm-bounces at lists.esipfed.org <mailto:esip-sustainabledm-bounces at lists.esipfed.org>> On Behalf Of Ruth Duerr via Esip-sustainabledm
> Sent: Monday, July 10, 2023 9:27 PM
> To: esip-sustainabledm <esip-sustainabledm at lists.esipfed.org <mailto:esip-sustainabledm at lists.esipfed.org>>
> Subject: [External Email][Esip-sustainabledm] Please review pages 8-10 of the CARE paper draft
>  
> [External Email] 
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> Hi folks, 
>  
> I’ve completed, with lot’s of suggestions and comments, draft text for the Collective benefit section of the paper <https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DlcDNCyzV6GjNzulz25lPDeXx0EQ-28xJ_7Nv2InZz0/edit?usp=sharing> (pages roughly 8-10).  I am wondering if you could take a quick look to see if that part is headed in an OK way.  I’d like to finish the next 3 parts (ARE of CARE) before ESIP, so really would like to get your general impressions over the next day or two…
>  
> Thanks,
>  
> Ruth
>  
> PS: I will be adding the diagrams here in the next day or so as well….
>  
> 
> 
> 
> 
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